Dear Kristin Scott Thomas,
As you know, you are the last word in beauty, intelligence, talent and general cinematic genius, so it is with some sense of nervousness that I suggest that you run the risk of overexposure.
Letters to the Stars
These nuggets of advice and wisdom were never posted to the stars in question - but now they can read them in my book instead.
Dear Julia Roberts
Dear Julia Roberts,
When you were 23, you were a Pretty Woman. At 45, you're the Wicked Stepmother. The combination of big brown eyes and an even bigger smile has kept you going for half your life. But for how much longer?
Dear Reese Witherspoon
Dear Reese Witherspoon,
Although it may be sexist to suggest that you are as fluffy and unthreatening as Meg Ryan, I will only say in my defence that most of your films require us to believe that men find you irresistible. But you're not.
Dear Liam Neeson
Dear Liam Neeson,
This year you hit 60, and I'm the first to celebrate the anniversary, but I have to question whether you have lost all sense of discrimination about which films you appear in.
Dear Meryl Streep
Dear Meryl Streep,
And so we come to that time of year again. Obviously you'll be nominated for an Oscar early in 2012. The question is, will you win? I say a big fat Greek YES.
Dear Robert de Niro
Dear Robert de Niro,
I've just watched a trailer for a new film starring you and Paul Dano, called Being Flynn aka Another Bullshit Night In Suck City (I don't see that title making it to the big screen).
Dear Eddie Murphy
Dear Eddie Murphy,
You're fifty years old, you've been a star for all but twenty of them, and yet your reputation is lower than it's ever been. What is the explanation?