3/10
It's not the fact that this film is stupid that I object to, because it means to be stupid;and I'm not really surprised that it's not funny - very few Hollywood comedies are. No, my real complaint is that it's such a huge waste of time, money and talent.
Think about it. James Franco gave a sensational Oscar nominatedl performance in 127 Hours; Natalie Portman won an Oscar for Black Swan; Charles Dance, Damian Lewis and Toby Jones are all excellent actors; and director David Gordon Green once seemed the most promising new talent in independent American cinema.
My question to all them is, what are you doing in this adolescent, homophobic, doped up cesspit of a film? I can only imagine them cringing when they watch the finished product. A pity they didn't do the same when they were sent the script.
Which is, of course, where all the problems start. The names credited to this shambles are Ben Best and Danny McBride. McBride is also the star of the film, and therefore a lot of responsibility wears on his shoulders. Not only is he by far the most annoying character in the film, but he's the one who created the character in the first place. OK, swift narrative roundup. Thadeous (McBride) is the younger brother of Fabious (Franco), the heir to the throne currently occupied by Charles Dance. Fabious is handsome, heroic, warm-hearted and much loved. Thadeous is a fat lazy coward, who makes a mess of everything and prefers getting stoned and/or laid to anything in the way of danger or risk. But when Fabious's new love Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel) is kidnapped by an evil wizard who wants to have his way with her, the two brothers go off to find her together, even though only one of them is willing. Along the way they meet hot action chick Natalie Portman. And that's enough of that.
Making medieval comedies is not easy. Monty Python and The Holy Grail is the only successful one that comes to mind. But then of course Terry Jones and the boys knew enough about history to be able to parody it in a way that was both witty and on the money. Judging by the script of Your Highness, McBride and Best's grasp of period amounts to the fact that people rode horses and fought with swords. True enough, but not enough to make a film out of. So instead we have references to dicks, endless references to gay sex (as in 'it's gross'), a lot of effing and blinding, dope jokes, and some surprisingly gross blood and gore. There are endless pointless sub plots and minor details that add nothing to the film, except a longer running time, and the dialogue is a clumsy mixture of cod Olde English and modern slang, which constantly jars on the ear.
None of which would be a problem if the film was funny, but it's not. Not even a little bit. Not even for a few minutes here and there. The gags came and went, along with special effects, unnecessary naked women and the more than occasional action sequence, but never a laugh. Not even a titter. And I don't think it's just because I'm old and boring. I think anyone but the most intellectually undernourished teenage delinquent drugged up dropout would struggle to raise a smile during this film. But if you think I'm wrong, by all means go and see it for yourself. I dare you.
