5/10
Part 3 of the God-bothering movie adaptations of the C S Lewis books finds Edmund and Lucy on a boat with their obnoxious cousin, Eustace Scrubb. Although there are 7 Chronicles of Narnia books in total, I would not be at all surprised if this was the last that was filmed. Partly for commercial reasons (they are increasingly unsuccessful at the box office), and partly because Prince Caspian, Lucy and Edmund don't appear in any more of the books. We shall see.
In the meanwhile, we have the two youngest children (Peter and Susan are too grown up to be allowed to do Narnia time) staying with their awful cousin in Cambridge during WW2. (If we're talking copycats, you might think that J K Rowling pinched the idea by having Harry stay with the Dursleys).
Their cousin Eustace is a beastly modern boy who collects insects, writes in his diary and thinks that the Pevensies are an affliction. So he is rather surprised to be swept away into a painting of a ship at sea, and to find himself on deck with Lucy and Edmund greeting their old friend Caspian. He is on a voyage to - well, it's not quite clear where he's headed to, or why, except that there are seven lords with seven swords and they have to be put on Aslan's table for everything to be all right. The swords, that is, not the lords. Plot is not the strong suit of this book/film.
They meet slave traders, a dragon, a sea monster, and all manner of temptations. They are accompanied by Reepicheep the talking mouse, while Aslan (aka Liam Neeson) puts in the occasional appearance, usually to pontificate about morality. The problem is that the temptations are born of a conservative and old fashioned mentality. Lucy is tempted by the desire to be beautiful (in Lewis's world, putting on makeup is a breath away from prostitution); Eustace is tempted by gold (or mammon, as the bible unhelpfully describes it); while Edmund gets the occasional flashback to Part 1 by having The White Witch materialise and make him an offer he can't (but does) refuse. Caspian's temptation is some tired old thing about his father being disappointed in him, but none of these distractions is given any real weight: they're more like time-filling devices.
Having said all of which, you might think that I am inclined to slag the film off, but I find that I don't want to. Despite the presence of pointless 3D, the tedious moralising and the lack of anything approaching excitement, I found myself mildly distracted by it. Reepicheep (voiced by Simon Pegg) is a winning character, and Will Poulter (from Son of Rambow) does wonders with the thankless role of Eustace. Ben Barnes is dashing and handsome, Georgie Henley is still an excellent Lucy, and the boat looks suitably Narnian. I'm not going so far as to recommend it, but you could do worse with the kids over the holidays.
