5/10
If ever there was a curate's egg of a film, then this is it; but it is also a Peter Greenaway film I don't hate which is a little miracle.
The film was made in 2007, but there's no obvious reason for the long delay in its release apart from the slump in Greenaway's popularity in recent years.
The subject of the film is Rembrandt, who is played by Martin Freeman. Yes, that Martin Freeman who was Tim in The Office. It's certainly one of the most improbable casting decisions of recent years, and - unbelievably - a great success. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that without him, the film would be unwatchable. It has all the usual Greenaway hallmarks - intellectual pretension, stunning imagery, lots of naked women, and a plot which defies description. And at the heart of it all, Freeman/Rembrandt is bawdy, foul-mouthed, irrepressible and a lot of fun. He addresses the camera occasionally, slags and shags with equal enthusiasm, and isn't a bad painter when he gets round to it.
The film is based around his painting called The Night Watch, which was intended as a conventional depiction of the local militia, but which (according to Greenaway) became an expose of a murder/mystery. The trouble is that a) there's no evidence for this theory, b) it's impossible to follow what's happening and who is who, and c) we don't care anyway. It's the personal relationships that are compelling, between Rembrandt and his wife Saskia, and then later with his servant, Hendrickje. Like the legendary egg in the Punch cartoon, parts of it are excellent. A pity that that at least half the film is just plain tedious.
