3/10
When you find yourself hoping that Jennifer Aniston doesn't fall for her costar, you know that a film is in trouble. Although when the guy is Adam Sandler, it makes more sense. Is he or is he not the most improbable romcom movie star of the last dozen decades?
This is one of those oh-so-laborious Hollywood premises that are as plausible as a bald man's wig. Danny (Sandler) is a plastic surgeon who dates hot women by pretending to be unhappily married (that works?). But when he meets the nubile young woman of his dreams (22 years younger than him) and she demands to meet his wife, Danny has to persuade his receptionist, Katherine (pseudo-dowdy Aniston) to pretend to be his ex, and her children get roped into the whole farrago of lies. Further complications ensue when Danny's cousin pretends to be Katherine's new lover, called Dolph Lundgren, while Nicole Kidman inexplicably turns up in Hawaii as Devlin, Katherine's arch enemy from school days. Are you with me so far? Please say no, because it's such a lame plot that I don't want to tell you any more.
OK, so it's a romocom, and therefore the normal rules of logic and common sense don't apply. Even so, Palmer (Danny's juvenile squeeze) would seem to be appallingly stupid not to notice all the half-baked lies and bad accents that are erupting around her; though of course, her main purpose is to wear a bikini, elicit sexist comments from ugly middle-aged men, and be cast aside in favour of Katherine at the end. Sorry, am I giving secrets away? I don't think so. I knew that was going to happen before I started watching the film. And by the way, Hawaii must have some sweet deal going with Sandler, since this is like some longwinded promo reel for the holiday resort. It certainly put me off going.
Back to the nitpicking. If Danny is paying Katherine to pretend to be his wife, why are they so rude to each other in front of Palmer; and not just bitchy, but downright unpleasantly rude? It makes no sense. And - I know this is a rhetorical question, but humour me - how come Adam Sandler is a movie star? He's a chunky 45 year old with no pretension to beauty whose main selling point is being rude to everyone (especially children), but who is the object of desire for endless beautiful women. And who exactly is this film for? It's not really a family movie; it's not funny, unless your funny bone lives near your bum, and it's not remotely romantic. Many hundreds of years ago, there were screwball comedies with Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn which took very flimsy premises and made superbly funny films. Not nostalgia, just fact.
