3/10
It's not a crime to be vain, self-deluded, narcissistic, and insist on having a whole film based around your every waking moment - as well as a few sleeping ones. But it does become a problem when your name is Jennifer Lopez making a comeback movie as bad as this one is.
You can judge the self-absorption of a film star by the quality of the talent she surrounds herself with. By this standard, J Lo is the diva to end all divas. The entire supporting cast is composed of people even I, who watch films for a living, have never heard of. The reason? So that we have nothing else to look at but Jennifer. Jennifer walking, laughing, flirting, smiling, getting bulgy (she's pregnant) and even crashing her car in an endearingly goofy way.
You want to know about the plot? I'll tell you. She's an ex-exec who has given up the high life to run a pet shop (intelligent AND with a conscience!!), and in the absence of Mr Right, has gone down the artifical insemination route to become a mother (her dream). But on the same day as she gets inseminated, she meets Mr Right after all, and he's hunky and cute and has an organic goat's cheese farm, and he's perfect. That's the plot.
There are many reasons to dislike the film but I will restrict myself to a few. All the other characters in the film, apart from Jen and her Man, are idiots. Women's groups are mocked and caricatured; she has an employee who is infatuated with her. Her best friend is clumsy and tactless; there is a constant stream of bland and irritating music. And of course Ms Lopez herself, who is about one milllionth as cute as she thinks she is, and even less talented. She has no capacity for humour, for making you feel she loves someone else, or even that she's a regular human being. She's a plastic person with a plastic personality whose only consolation can be that she's not as bad as Madonna.
In the interests of fair play, I should say that other people (women, to be precise) laughed on more than one occasion during the film.
